Monday, August 18, 2008

Hello, again


It feels like it’s been ages… well, it has been ages really.

I haven’t written anything lately for a few reasons and even as I sit here writing now, I’m not sure I can articulate with any real clarity what they are.

First, it’s summer and time seems to travel at a different pace in the summer… more slowly but more quickly at the same time. There’s no explaining it really except to say that I have, on several occasions, found myself being acutely aware of the incredible passing of time while noting a moment seeming to last longer than one could hope or dream. Does that make any sense at all? Probably not.

Second, I have been busy changing. And change takes time, effort and energy. By no means am I done but I certainly feel that I have turned a corner. An important one that without navigating, the hopes and dreams I held for myself would surely never come true.

As one of my true friends recently told me right here on this blog: “Sometimes, it is difficult to hear because of the noise of others. The noise is comprised of opinions, judgments, identifications, and criticisms of you. You must filter the noise to hear the truth.” And that’s what I have been working at doing. The funny thing is, that as I resigned myself to a future that I was welcoming of but thought to be less than what I had once hoped for, I found that everything I was seeking was right there in front of me. Go figure. Once I shut off the voices of doubt, judgment and disappointment, all the messages of hope and love and happiness were loud and clear. I thank you, my friend, for reminding me of that pure and wise message.

And so here I am… watching the few remaining days of summer pass by while I fill them with all things and people I love. I am excited and hope-filled. Who could ask for more?

“Change, when it comes, cracks everything open.”
Dorothy Allison

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