Blessed to Be a Witness

I had the pleasure of having brunch today with my oldest son and his girlfriend. I was pleasantly surprised last night to receive a text from her inviting me and I happily responded yes.

I don't often get an opportunity to just hang out with the two of them and I was really looking forward to it. I love just hanging with my boys in different combinations for different reasons.

I love hanging with them individually by themselves because it gives me a chance to talk with them without the influence of their brothers on them and the natural bravado and showmanship that results when they are together. It's when I think I can best see the man they have become and when I can most easily find the little boy they once were.

I love hanging with them all together because it gives me such joy to sit back and just watch them play off one another. I think my boys have a wonderful, close relationship with each other and I think it has even grown stronger now that it is faced with the challenge of one of them living half a world away. They challenge and push each other to be stronger and support each other when that strength is faltering. I am happy for their closeness.

And I love hanging with my sons and their girlfriends. But that has not always been the case.

Right now, only my oldest son has a girlfriend (at least he is the only one who is at a state of his relationship to tell me he has one and brave enough to hang out with mom and the girlfriend at the same time).

There have been other girlfriends who I haven't been quite so enthusiastic to spend time with and I could tell you some funny stories (now that the relationships are long in the past) like the one who in her first conversation with me on the phone told me to get my son's "lazy ass out of bed." Yeah, that one didn't go well. I tried, honestly I did (although I am very certain the involved son would argue that point). But here is the thing... I find it very hard to be warm and open with a person who seems to not value my son for all that he is. Now don't get me wrong... I am well aware that my sons, like me, like all humans are flawed. I get that. But if a person is in a relationship with someone I feel that each of the people involved should feel the best of themselves when they are together and I think it's pretty obvious when that is not the case.

And what I see when my son and his girlfriend are together now is that he is happy. He smiles and laughs. She sees his flaws and accepts them as unique pieces of his character. He has a happiness that, as a parent, you want your children to have as adults.

I don't know where this relationship will go but I am glad he is experiencing it because I believe he is better for it. And I am blessed to be a witness.