Open Dialogue

I have had a number of conversations recently revolving around being open, opening up to people. I don’t consider myself a closed person, but I have the distinct impression that those around me might say otherwise.

I have a number of thoughts on the matter and being the open person I am I will share them with you (ha!).

First, it’s been my experience that when someone asks “how are you?” generally speaking the answer is either presumed by them or irrelevant to them so if you ask me “how are you” I will give any number of versions of the same thing… but they are, reflecting my desire to always stay positive regardless of how negative things may seem, always of a positive nature. Fine, good, dandy (things are really good), great (self-evident)… At worst I will offer an “ok” which is to say, not. If, on a rare occasion you hear me say “I’ve been better” or “not great” hide sharp objects and take stock of over-the-counter pharmaceuticals.

Second, it’s not that I’m not open, really I don’t think so. I just don’t talk about myself much. I find other people fascinating and love to hear stories of their families, adventures, partners, children. I love conversations and I can think of about a billion things more interesting to talk about than myself. But that is not to say I’m not open. If someone asks me a personal question, about anything, I will answer. I often hear people say “do you mind if I ask…?” and I never do. I always figure if a person is interested, they’ll ask. And then I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But otherwise, honestly, it’s not that I’m hiding anything, it’s just that I think there’s other stuff to chat about and it would never occur to me to include myself in the list.

I made the comment to someone recently that I blog all the time, clear evidence of opening myself up. The response I got back was as simple as my claim… “You said it yourself… you’re talking to everyone and no one. Easy to talk openly in an empty room” Jerk.

“Look at your photography” this person said. “You never show all of yourself in the self-portraits. You are always hiding something… keeping something out of sight.” Double jerk.

Well… the other aspect of my personality that I am happy to be open about is a ridiculous level of stubbornness. I’ll show you, yes I will.

So… hmm… what to say? I am going to make coconut shrimp for dinner then take a long soothing bath and exfoliate.

Give me a break. It’s a start.